I Accidentally Kissed Harry Potter
by InMyJazzShoes
Summary: ON HIATUS. Harry and Hermione 'accidentally' have a romantic moment, messing up their strong friendship. Will it make or break them?
1. It's Wrong to Curse

**Author's Note:** Haha I'm back with another humor story. Catchy title, eh? I randomly came up with an idea for this story. I always kind of wanted to make a comedy about Hermione's thoughts in first person. Of course this story is Harry/Hermione. I have a few more story ideas racked in my brain, but they're staying there for now and yeah. My "funniness" (is that even a word?) in my humor stories isn't that great, I don't think, so please bear with me as I try to sound more funny and sarcastic.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

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I Accidently Kissed Harry Potter

_Chapter One: It's Wrong to Curse_

"Shit."

I was probably going to be late to Potions class.

"Shit."

I knew that it was 'wrong to curse' and all, and mum and dad would kill me if they heard me swear, but hellish situations like this are swearing _magnets_. And the magnetic strength was too much for me to resist. There. Argument won.

My heart was beating so rapidly that it felt like it was slamming against my rip cage. Which is unhealthy. It's also unhealthy to be late to class. Well, at least, for a person like me who is obsessive over her grades. One late could ruin my prefect status for good. Although Ronald has been late to several classes, nobody really notices.

But if I, Hermione Granger, was late to class, my teachers would never let me live it down. I'd get detention -- _detention!_ -- and those kind of things go on your record. And people would remember who you were. I mean, it's not like people don't know who I am. I'm the braniac sidekick of Harry Potter, according to the general public. Just that "Granger girl". But Harry and I knew better. I was a braniac, I had to admit, but I certainly wasn't a bloody _sidekick_. I will be reduced to that when hell freezes over. Or when my PMSing gets so bad that Harry will no longer be able to handle it. Heck, I don't think that Harry and Ron will ever adjust to my "girl changes" any time soon.

"Hermione!"

I turned around. It was Harry. Isn't it ironic how whenever you think about someone vividly, they randomly show up, and then you feel really awkward, like as though they read your thoughts?

"Hi, Harry," I said casually, trying to act like I didn't care if I was going to be late to Potions class.

"We're going to be late to Potions class," he said breathlessly. "And you don't care?"

I shrugged. "Why are you so out of breath?" My eyebrows automatically lifted themselves without my command.

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Harry said, looking away from me for a moment and wiping beads of sweat off his forehead. "I wasn't -- I mean, I was talking to Ginny, and I lost track of time. I'm out of breath from _running_, Hermione."

I shrugged again. His answer seemed ligit, I suppose. Although he was kind of freaking me out with the I'm-totally-open-with-talking-about-Ginny-with-you,-Hermione. Maybe he didn't know that I had a school girl crush on him.

School girl crush: _n._ when a friend of a very attractive boy has the beginnings of true romantic feelings for this boy, but the school girl knows better and decides to fake sexual tension with her other friend that is a boy. The boy whom the crush is upon has no idea about his friend, the girl, having a school girl crush on him, so he is very open to this girl with lots of stuff. Therefore, they have a connection that could easily turn to romance the boy is just so freaking oblivious that it's silly.

Yeah, he had no idea that I had a school girl crush on him.

"C'mon," Harry said, urging me to sprint to Potions class with him. He began with a jog.

Harry looked kind of cute when he was jogging, desperate to make an attempt at being on time to a class. Shrugging for a third time, I began running with him.

"Harry, m'boy!" Professor Slughorn greeted us...well, he greeted Harry, but the "Granger girl" had just slipped his mind. "Just on time, just on time..."

"Hermione!" Ron said as Harry and I sat down at our desk. His eyes widened. "You were almost _late_ to _class_!" He covered his mouth with his hand. I smacked him with mine. "What were you two doing, anyways?" His eyebrows raised the same way mine had just a few moments before when I was in the corridor with Harry.

"Both of you!" Harry said, still breathing heavily. "How come whenever I'm out of breath and sweating, I'm automatically accused of doing something -- something -- "

"Sexual?" I suggested.

"Don't make the situation more awkward than it already is," Harry said.

"It's not my fault that you don't want to say the word 'sexual' in my presence."

"Okay, class," Professor Slughorn interupted our discussion by beginning the lesson. "Today, we're going to read chapters ten, eleven, and twelve, then discuss. We'll begin making a mystery potion, one of my favorites, and we'll finish tomorrow..."

--

"Psst, Hermione!"

I jumped nearly two feet out of my chair.

"It's me."

I turned my head to my right, and there was Harry kneeling beside the table that I was sitting at in the library.

"Harry, you scared the living daylights out of me!" I snapped in a hushed tone. "I was about to hex you!"

"Sorry," he said, standing up and sitting next to me.

"Why did you sneak up on me, anyways?" I ask curiously without looking at him.

My eyes were focused on my Transfiguration textbook, which was also what Harry should have been focusing on because we were scheduled to have a Transfiguration test tomorrow. Not like he would bother with studying or anything, no matter how much of a nag I was about it.

"Madam Pince doesn't like me," he admitted.

"She doesn't like _anyone_," I said, still glancing at my textbook.

"True."

There was an awkward silence between us for a few moments. The only sound that I heard was hushed voices of perhaps five other people in the library.

"Anyways," Harry continued, "I need your help."

I looked away from my textbook. This was serious. Harry Potter was reaching out for help. It must've had something to do with girls.

"Okay. Tell me," I said, trying to hide the anxiousness and curiousity in my voice.

"Well, I mean, I shouldn't really -- "

It was _so_ about girls.

" -- it's kind of awkward to be talking to you about this -- "

I could totally tell. I was one hundred percent accurate. It was about girls.

" -- but I can't talk to Ron, really, because he'd probably hex me into the next century -- "

Girls. Definately.

"Do you think Ginny likes me?"

See, I knew it. It was about girls.

"Harry..." I said sweetly, thinking about my response.

"No?"

"I didn't even say anything yet!" I whispered with a harsh tone. "Do you want the truth, though?"

Harry hesitantly nodded, looking rather nervous.

"Okay," I said, turning my body completely so that I was facing him. I carefully studied his physical appearance, and I took advantage of this opportunity. I could stare at him all I wanted for a minute or two, pretending like I had never thoroughly looked at him before and I needed to evaluate him. But I knew his appearance very well, actually. It's not like I obsessively stared at him (please, it's a school girl crush, not an I'm-madly-in-love crush), but I have certainly cast covert glances at him before. His hair was messy, as usual, now. His glasses were slightly off-balance on the bridge of his nose. His lips were curved into a nervous smile, and his eyes...God, Harry's eyes...They were the most attractive part of him. I mean, nobody's eyes could possibly be _that_ green. But it worked for him.

"I think that she does like you."

"Really?" he asked hopefully.

It hurt to nod, but I was glad that he was happy. "I mean, any girl with half a brain would like you."

I did not just say that. I did _not_ just say that! I certainly had two halves of a brain, Harry knew that, and now he was going to think that I liked him.

Shit.

"I'm just saying," I said plainly, looking back at my textbook. That's right, Hermione. Just play it cool.

Harry, being oblivious to any sign that I liked him, seemed to take no notice. Thank goodness. Or maybe he just _seemed_ to, but he really _did_.

"Did you mean that?"

Shit. He noticed.

"Well...yeah, I guess," I said. There was a hint of guilt in my voice, like I got caught stealing cookies from a dang cookie jar. I wonder what the wizarding equivalence of that would be...

"Hermione?" he asked nervously.

Okay, I couldn't help it. I looked over at him. "Oh my God, what is it? I just said one stupid thing, you don't have to go on about it -- "

But before I knew what was going on, my lips were pressing against Harry's with such a passionate force that I was about to fall out of my bloody chair. And then my hands crept behind his neck, and his hands cupped my face and I smiled against his lips..._Don't wake up_ I thought to myself, because this certainly must have been a dream. I was dreaming.

Harry pulled away and I kind of just sat there, looking like a deer in headlights. "Um..." he said, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "Sorry."

"No, I-I'm sorry," I said awkwardly.

I blinked a few times, letting stupid reality sink in. I wasn't sure if I kissed him, or if it was him who made the first move. Either way, I knew that I kissed Harry Potter, and all hell was about to break loose. I could tell, especially since Harry was now walking away and muttering apologies over his shoulder. Oh yeah, hell was breaking free of its chains and coming straight towards me.

Shit.

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**Author's Note:** Very different from my other stories, but what is a teenage-rated humor story without the words "shit" and "sexual"? Gracias for reading. Pretty please review! I reply to all of my replies personally :D


	2. Ginny is Oblivious

**Author's Note:** I was so surprised that I got so many reviews just from the first chapter! Hopefully I can write up to your expectations. Suggestions are always welcome, hehe :) Enjoy :D

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I Accidently Kissed Harry Potter

_Chapter Two: Ginny is Oblivious_

I bit back the urge to curse as I stormed out of the library. This was probably one of the most hellish situations ever. Well, I mean, I've been in (directly or indirectly) worse situations:

Like that time when Professor Quirrel was really kind of Voldemort.

And when the Chamber of Secrets was opened and I was petrified by a basilisk.

Oh, and that time when we thought that Sirius was a mass murderer, but he was really Harry's godfather.

Then when Voldemort returned in a graveyard, killed Cedric Diggory, and Harry barely made it out alive.

And last year, when the devil took human form in Umbridge. And there was that part where we kind of faced tons of Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries and Sirius died.

So yeah, I've been in worse situations. But this was certainly something completely different. It was going to cause lots of drama and a whole lot of jealous girls to take action. I wasn't ready for something like this, but hopefully nobody found out, and everything would just be okay...

--

"Everything is _not _okay!" I exclaimed in the common room when I got back from the library.

Ginny had been poking me with questions and it was irritating me beyond belief.

"Happy now? You know that I'm not okay, that all hell is going to break loose and -- and -- "

"And what?" Ginny asked curiously.

I nervously looked around the common room. Nobody was there.

I couldn't _possibly_ tell Ginny what happened. She was the last person whom I'd tell what had happened. I kissed Harry Potter! Well, technically, he kissed me first, but it didn't really matter who kissed who. Did it? I never really comprehended romantic relationships as much as I should have. It was probably the only thing I wasn't a total braniac about. There was that whole worrying-if-Harry-is-going-to-be-attacked-by-Death-Eaters-or-Voldemort-himself thing. It kind of distracted me.

Then the portrait hole opened and I sucked in my breath. It was Harry.

Shit.

He stumbled into the common room and looked up at me and Ginny. The atmosphere in the room suddenly became awkward. And there were four very good reasons as to why the atmosphere in the room suddenly became awkward.

Reason One: Ginny kind of liked Harry, but he didn't know it.

Reason Two: Harry kind of liked Ginny, but she didn't know it.

Reason Three: I kind of liked Harry, and he kind of new it, but Ginny didn't know it.

Reason Four: Harry and I kind of just shared a passionate, unintended kiss, and Ginny didn't know that, either.

Ginny really just didn't know a lot of what was going on around her. I coughed loudly, hoping that it would somehow make Harry go away. But he stood there, looking at me, then Ginny. I couldn't help but cast covert glances at his lips. _I kissed those lips_. I felt a weird tingling sensation that was totally weird and unnatural, so and sat back down to remain under control. I could still feel his lips against mine...

"Hi, Ginny," Harry said gently. "Hi, Hermione."

"Hey, Harry," Ginny replied with a smile and a wave.

Harry nodded to both of us and walked upstairs. The atmosphere was still awkward. I hated it.

"So anyways," Ginny said in that prepare-for-me-annoying-you tone that she used quite a lot. "What happened? What's wrong?"

Again, here I go with the 'hellish situation' thing. The only good friend that I had, who was a _girl_, was Ginny. I usually talked to her about stuff that I couldn't _ever_ discuss with Harry and Ron.

But now, I couldn't talk to Ginny about it because she'd probably kidnap me in the dead of night and burn me in Hagrid's backyard.

And I couldn't talk to Ron about it because he'd slip a fatal poison into my morning pumpkin juice.

Okay, so I might have been exagerating a bit, but Ron and Ginny certainly wouldn't be too fond of me if they found out about the whole I-kissed-Harry-Potter thing.

Then a freaky idea, an idea that kind of frightened me, entered my thoughts: I could talk to Harry about it.

I shook my head. No way. It would make the atmosphere explode with awkwardness. Plus, I just hate awkward situations in general. They're just so...so..._awkward_.

It was an idea, though, and it seemed like the only real way to get everything off my chest. We could sort this out. This could work. BUt then suddenly, a voice whispered to me from behind.

"Are you Hermione Granger?" the voice asked.

It was rough and threatening. I pulled out my wand and turned around. There was a boy there, probably in his fourth year, leaning over the back of my chair. "Who are _you_?"

"I'm Lewis Youth. Listen, I know about you and Harry Potter."

Shit.

My pulse quickened at an alarming rate. Okay, Hermione, calm down. I could just play dumb. Like Hermione Granger playing dumb would fool anyone.

"I-I don't know what y-you're talking about."

The shakiness in my voice wasn't that convincing, either.

"You two _kissed_ in the library! I saw it when I was walking by your isle!"

Double shit.

"Please don't tell anyone," I pleaded. "Please, I -- "

"I'll make you a deal," he said confidently.

"I'm listening." It couldn't be _that_ bad. He would probably demand that I wrote his essay for Charms or something.

"Okay, so my sister has a total crush on Harry Potter. She's in fifth year, a Ravenclaw, and her name's Pamela Youth. I want you to set her up with Harry."

I thought about it. "What's your sister like?"

Lewis rolled his eyes and sighed. "Pamela is really nice. She likes to draw and sing. But seriously, like, she's totally obsessed with Harry Potter."

"Um...okay," I said plainly.

Harry hated being confronted with girls who were obsessed with him. There was no way on God's creation that he would ever go through with this.

"I'm sorry, but Harry wouldn't like her," I said.

"Then no deal," Lewis said defiantly.

"No, no, please -- "

But Lewis disappeared before I could say anything more.

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**Author's Note:** I'm almost finished with the next chapter of "Tears of a Mourning Bookworm", so that should be out either later on today or early tomorrow :) Thanks for reading, and please review!


	3. Potions Class Can Be Interesting

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone :) First off, thank you to everyone who reviewed! People actually like the story! :D Anyways, this chapter is super short, but that's because life is getting all hectic again -- my final exams are coming up soon. le gasp! -- and so yeah. I tried to make Hermione in character as much as I could without throwing off the theme that I've established. And Ron has dialogue! Haha. I think that I know what to write for the next chapter. Dun dun DUN! Enjoy :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

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I Accidently Kissed Harry Potter

_Potions Class Can Be Interesting_

It was nearly impossible to talk to Harry when Ron was always with us. I had been surprised about how well Harry was able to act casual around me, as though we hadn't "accidently" kissed. But I knew him better than that.

Heck, I _always_ knew him better than that.

Harry and I needed to talk. I couldn't just pretend like nothing happened, because _bam!_, that idiot Lewis kid was going to ruin everything. And then Harry would get mad at me for not telling him about Lewis's threat -- and Harry is _scary_ when he's mad.

"Harry," I whispered during Potions. I didn't look at him. This conversation needed to appear not important to eavesdrop on. It was kind of easy to hide a conversation when everyone had to use individual cauldrons to make the same potion. The potion that we were working on was Potion of Mary Terrylanga. It was made by Keith Terrylanga, born in 1590 and died in 1653, and he named the potion after his wife, Mary, who died of a mysterious illness that was still mysterious to this day. Basically, in short, the Potion of Marry Terrylanga was a mediocre Healing Potion.

"Why are you whispering?" he whispered back.

"Listen, we need to talk, and Ron won't leave us alone," I said, still in that whisper and ignoring his quesiton. I casted a quick glance at Ron before continuing. "You know about the -- the kiss?"

Harry dropped the herbs that he had been holding. They fell gracefully into his cauldron, turning his potion to a light orange. I shook my head -- the potion was supposed to be a nice emerald color, like Harry's eyes. "I don't want to talk about it," he said hastily, looking back at the stupid Prince's notes in his Potions book.

"We _need_ to, though," I whispered as I dropped a teaspoon full of herbs into my potion. I double-checked my textbook to make sure that I was correct so far, and I continued.

"No, we don't."

"Yes!" I snapped. "Someone saw us kissing."

I was surprised that the whole classroom didn't explode when Harry dropped several various items into his cauldron unintentionally. Or if that was intentionally, then this Prince guy really sucked at making this potion. "Someone _what_?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound as calm as possible. It was really difficult to do this, though, because Harry's panicking tone make me panicky. "This kid named Lewis Youth, a fourth year Ravenclaw, said that he wouldn't tell people about the kiss as long as -- "

"As long as what? You complete his homework assignment of something?" Harry asked impatiently, trying to cover up the fact that he deserved a 'T' -- troll, the worst failing grade that I had never even come close to getting -- for the day.

I gulped nervously and tried to distract myself by working on my potion double time. "No. He wants you to date his sister. Pamela Youth, a fifth year. She's kind of obsessed with you."

"No way!" Harry exclaimed, chucking the rest of his herbs at the table.

"What the -- ?" Ron began, realizing that Harry and I were beginning a conversation.

I cursed under my breath, as did Harry, and I said, "Listen, I know that it's difficult to -- "

"I can't just pretend to like a girl who is obsessed with me!" Harry said angrily, but at a lower volume.

"What are you two talking about?" Ron asked curiously.

"None of your damn business!" I yelled, as angry as Harry was.

This whole discussion thing wasn't working out as well as I had hoped. The other students were now cautiously looking at our table (although Professor Slughorn was too jolly to even notice that Hermione Granger, braniac extroidinare, was completely ticked off). Ron's blue eyes widened with such surprise that I wasn't sure which was more awkward: the fact that I cursed in front of him, or the fact that I was keeping him out of the loop.

"Oh, I see what's going on..." Ron said quizically, raising his eyebrows.

I sighed. I hated when Ron did that, as though Harry and I were going out. And by technical means, Harry and I _were_ going out. But we were too angry and confused to really put that into perspective.

I ignored Ron, though, and continued whispering to Harry. "I know that you hate people who are obsessed with you just because you're famous," I agreed. "But all hell will break loose if people find out what you did!"

"What _I_ did?" Harry snarled, stirring his sad excuse for a potion within his cauldron. I heard Ron mumble stupid, envious comments, but I continued to ignore him.

"It wasn't _my_ idea for us to kiss!" I said, raising my voice a bit. And that made me think, actually, about what I had said... "Why _did_ you kiss me, Harry?"

Harry checked his potion, obviously stalling. His cheeks were reddening and he wiped sweat off his forehead. Then he shrugged. "I dunno."

"Oh, come on," I remarked. "You don't just randomly kiss your best friend!"

I knew that I was really pushing the limits of Harry's temper, but such situations, _hellish_ situations, were not only cursing magnets, but they were curiousity magnets. And I was _very_ curious.

"Look, I didn't -- I didn't mean to kiss you! It was -- it was an accident!"

I rolled my eyes. "Just tell me. And maybe, you don't even have to go out with Pamela -- "

"I'm not ever going out with that Pamela girl no matter what!" Harry's tone was quiet, but I could sense the anger and tension in his voice.

"Okay, fine," I muttered impatiently. "But honestly, if you just explain to me why you kissed me, then when people find out, then we'll figure something out, okay? We could pretend to go out, once that Lewis kid tells everyone, and then break up the next day!"

I was proud of myself for coming up with such a brilliant plan. I was full of brilliant plans, actually. Because of my brillaint plans, Harry was still alive today. I shook my head, suddenly ashamed of my short-lived conceited attitude.

Harry shrugged again. "I don't know, Hermione. It would be really awkward..."

I felt a sudden jolt of pain in my stomach, and I knew that it wasn't from breakfast. I was getting rejected by my own best friend; the same best friend who had kissed me the day before. It was pathetic. I composed myself and tried to seem as casual as I could be. Harry had witnessed the height of my emotional levels enough to last him a bloody _lifetime_, and I didn't need to add drama to the current hellish situation that was occuring.

"Suit yourself, then," I said, raising my nose into the tense air.

"Hermione, don't be like that," Harry said in an annoyed tone.

"Don't be like what?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"When you make me feel guilty about decisions that I make."

Ron threw me a dark look from the opposite side of Harry. Ron didn't understand what Harry meant; but I understood. I supposed that my intelligence just had that sort of capability to comprehend whatever Harry's intentions were. Or maybe it was just because Harry and I had such a close friendship. I could never tell.

"I'm sorry," I said, not really knowing if I was. "Just please go along with this, please? Everything will be alright once we break up after dating, and -- "

"Yeah, I know," Harry said. "This will be tough to pull off, though, really. I mean, you can't really imagine us going out anyways, right?"

_Ouch_. If this were a live tele show, the audience would have been gasping and throwing tomatoes at Harry. And I grabbed the tomato right beside me (it was for the tenth step of the process of making the potion). I wondered where it would inflict the most pain on Harry. I aimed towards the groin area, naturally.

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**Author's Note:** Yay, I guess. I'm working on the next chapter for "Tears of a Mourning Bookworm", so chillax, it'll be uploaded soon. Thanks for reading, and pretty please review! :)


	4. Tomatoes are Good Weapons

**Author's Note:**I had begun writing this chapter a few weeks ago, but I re-wrote it within twenty minutes and hopefully it's a bit better. Although I can't imagine that any chapter that was written in twenty minutes can be fantastic...Oh, and sorry for the long wait. And sorry if this sucks. And sorry for anything else that I might've missed. I just feel very apalogetic all of the sudden.

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I Accidentally Kissed Harry Potter

_Chapter Four: Tomatoes are Good Weapons_

"That really wasn't necessary, Hermione!"

Harry's voice shouted at me from behind.

"Listen, I don't care about this Lewis kid. Let him tell everybody. I don't care. I won't go out with his sister. I think that I can handle a bit more than _blackmail_."

"Yeah, because you're Harry freaking Potter and you can handle anything!" I shouted angrily back, walking at a fast pace.

"You know I don't think that."

I really didn't know where the heck I was going. It just seemed appropriate to storm away from Harry and shout at him, after he said that he "can't imagine us going out". Who even _says_ that to a girl?

"Hermione, it wasn't necessary for you to chuck at a tomato at my groin. Dean made jokes about me getting my p-- "

"Why are you following me, anyways?" I snapped, turning a corner, ignoring nosy third years that were glaring at us.

"I want to know why you're so ticked off at me all of the sudden."

I came to a halt and turned on my heels. Harry had been running so fast that he almost ran into me.

"You mention that you couldn't imagine us going out, and then I chuck a tomato at your groin. Can you not put the pieces together?"

Oh my God. I did _not_ just say that out loud. If there was any doubt about me liking Harry, it was about as gone as Quill was...

"Hermione?"

I turned back and began running again. The moment Harry said my name, I heard the click of his brain that realized everything.

My school girl crush was no longer a secret. Well, that just sucks.

"Hermione, dammit! Stop!"

"No!" I shouted over my shoulder.

It was all really ridiculous. Harry Potter was chasing me down in Hogwarts with a red stain on the groin area of his school robes. Figures Dean would make fun of Harry getting his "period".

And after a few moments, who was I to run into but Lewis youth himself? This hellish situation was just getting really messed up. I wanted to run and hide somewhere. The Room of Requirement wasn't on this floor, though...

"Hermione! Hey, have you considered the -- " he began.

"Stop, Hermione, bloody hell you run fast!" Harry shouted, before I heard the near-skid of his shoes.

"Oh, hi, Lewis," I said plainly with a sigh.

Harry snickered. "_You're_ Lewis?"

The boy nodded almost nervously.

"How _dare_ you threaten Hermione like that!" Harry yelled, stepping towards him. "You just made us both run at top speed around the castle like mad people, you little -- "

"I-I just want m-my sister to be h-happy," Lewis explained shakily, cowering away from Harry.

I kind of just stood there, not sure whether to break up the tension, get scared of Harry's anger, or join in on the interesting situation.

"Well, kid, Hermione -- " he pointed to me, as if Lewis didn't already know who I was, " -- is like my sister," I internally hissed at the way Harry thought of me, wishing it were more..., "and I want _her_ to be happy. Doesn't mean I blackmail people."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, okay."

"Hermione, stay out of this," Harry snapped, not looking at me.

"You just said you want me to be _happy_. Well, chasing me around the castle and lecturing me about throwing a tomato at your -- "

"Can we discuss that later? Now's not such a good time. I don't know if you've noticed that. Plus, it's uncivilized to chuck tomatoes at people without their permission."

Permission? "Harry, may I _please_ throw a tomato at your -- "

"Oh my God, no, Hermione! Listen, Lewis, if you tell _anyone_ that I kissed Hermione, you will get hell from me, you got that? Hell."

He was that ashamed of kissing me? Or did I kiss him...? We really needed to sort these details out. Might as well be now.

"Did _you_ kiss _me_?" I asked. "Or did _I_ kiss _you_?"

"We'll talk about this later, Hermione," Harry said, his voice a little calmer. He glared at Lewis. "Hell."

--

"What was _that_?" I demanded as we were on our way back to the common room. We were both walking a bit too fast.

"What do you mean? I threatened the kid that blackmailed us."

"I'm not sure that's usually how it works," I said with a smirk. "And I want you to answer my question. Who kissed who?"

"Didn't you notice?"

"I was too busy noticing the actual kiss to realize what happened before that," I admitted quickly.

Harry sighed. "You kissed _me_. I think it might've been an accident, though. Like you kind of slipped or something...or maybe you didn't really mean it at the time...because you seemed rather, er, shocked."

I was silent for a few moments. I kissed _him_? And I was _shocked_? Oh. "You kissed me back."

"Did not," he argued.

"You so did," I mocked. "You kissed me back! That kiss would've been just a peck if you hadn't wanted that kiss to happen!"

A few people in various paintings were now paying vivid attention to our conversation. The gossiping was beginning amongst them already. I was too busy recognizing the ray of hope (Harry kissed me back!) to really care about the gossip at the moment.

Harry's cheeks turned red. "It was a one-time thing, Hermione."

"Don't even tell me that I was an experiment or something. I'm too smart to get fooled by _that_. Even if you keep defending that you didn't mean to kiss me back, your excuse wouldn't be that you were just trying something new. You wouldn't use me like that."

"Now that we've calmed down, I should probably get this stain off..." Harry said absently, not showing that he was paying attention to me.

We were getting closer to the common room now... "I can't believe you were so determined to not let everyone know about our kiss. I mean, it's not like I want to broadcast it myself, but you just really didn't want anyone to find out. That hurt me."

"_Hurt_ you? Hermione, I was trying to _protect_ you. God, and I thought you were the smart one..."

"What do you mean?"

"If the Death Eaters found out -- "

"Oh, don't even start with those bastards! Let them find out! I don't care."

"Hermione -- "

"Harry, you've got to learn to, like, live."

"Why are you, of all people, saying this?"

"Because I have a crush on you!" I yelled. "That's why! I don't care if the whole entire world knows it at this moment, because we're all kind of screwed anyways, to be completely honest."

"Nice, Hermione. Way to be a realist."

"I. Have. A. Crush. On. You," I repeated. "Am I going to get a response to that, or are you going to comment on my perspective of life again?"

"This is too much to deal with right now, Hermione. Let me sleep on it all, okay?"

I sighed. "Ugh, fine."

A few awkward seconds passed before Harry walked away.

"Stupid Y chromosome."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry if it's short. I only promised that the next chapter of "Tears of a Mourning Bookworm" would be much longer -- and trust me, that chapter is going to be long, don't worry. I'm already, like, halfway through with writing it and stuff. Please review :) I reply to all reviews personally.


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